Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book

My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree.

A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, ''we have a drink named after you.'' The horse says, ''what? Eric?''

I said, ''waiter, what''s that in my soup?'' he said, ''I''d better call the boss, I can''t tell one insect from another.''

I''m reading a book called ''Sex Before 20''. Personally I don''t like audiences.

I said, ''it''s serious, doctor, I''ve broken my arm in 20 places''. He said, ''well stop going to those places.''

I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.