This is a book about the tensions between Christian ideals of love and the concrete realities of everyday monastic life. Based on a study of Cistercian monasteries in France, it develops a novel conceptualization of fraternal relations and addresses how monks and nuns strive to accomplish such relationships within their communities. By focusing on the main interaction contexts of monasteries as a form of voluntary total institution, the book shows how attempts to generate collective solidarity, relate to other members as equals and avoid preferential relations conflict with practices of everyday life. Although fraternal ideals are similar for monks and nuns, the analysis reveals significant gender differences regarding the legitimacy of different forms of interaction and relationships as well as how to control them. The book appeals to readers with an interest in total institutions, sociology of religion, sociology of friendship, sociology of intimacy and also to scholars with an interest in theology of love and practical theology.