First lost tooth. First colonoscopy. First second mortgage. First chin hair. First comb-over. All of these memorable firsts belong in MY MIDDLE-AGED BABY BOOK: A Place to Write Down All the Things You’ll Soon Forget. A padded and chewable keepsake with room to write in significant firsts, it’s a perfect gift for a milestone birthday, when you’re old enough not to take yourself too seriously.

A comic classic, My Middle-Aged Baby Book is the irrepressibly cheeky celebration of middle age in the form of a fill-in baby book—and the perfect gift for both women (“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”) and men (remember, it’s prostate not prostrate). It’s a place to record firsts: my first colonoscopy, my first reading glasses, my first words (“everything hurts”). Vital statistics: including married name(s), circumference of abdomen, cholesterol count (bad HDLs, good HDLs). Primary caregivers: urologist, periodontist, colorist. It explains the Seven Stages of Hair Loss, answers the question Am I Smiling . . . or Is It Gas?, covers Sex? (Check one: Yes, No, Can’t Remember), and what happens When I Grow Up—go ahead, be a burden to your children!

And for everyone who forgot where they put their reading glasses, the book is thoughtfully printed on anti-glare paper in large, easy-to-read type.