"It’s not what you think, it rarely is, so flick the remains of your rubbish cigarette down the drain and don’t pay too much attention to the rumours.

Things have been going missing from the bedroom of the woman with the purple eye shadow.

Stewart tries to pull in the punters at the ailing nightclub by installing a car park diorama of gorillas and meerkats. Meanwhile, Yvonne gets a new job and nobody knows what’s happened to Daz.

At Jonnie Rabbett’s shooting club, Barbara ‘Bunny’ Rabbett dispenses pork pies and sage advice, “It’ll be right, love.”

Vincent smokes cigarettes, smells of paint and finally gets to the bottom of what exactly happened to Dame Judy. He must ring Kirsten and let her know!

Paul’s life flashes before him as he drives around town in his aromatic van, “I’m here for the chickens!” he shouts.

Sports and Social is a collection of short stories about the remarkable everyday things that happen when remarkable everyday people get together.