'Let me be honest, during the last twenty years there have been times when my faith has seemed frail and fragile and almost ready to collapse. I have struggled with seeing my wife stripped of her dignity and reduced by her agony. I have doubted all kinds of things. I have exploded and lashed out. I do not like what is happening to my sweetheart one little bit. Chronic illness never goes away. Come on, realistically, how much more can we take?''But one thing I have never doubted is that, in the darkest circumstances, we were only ever in the hands of God. That has been the ultimate source of comfort and hope.'As Paul Mallard knows only too well, the crucible of suffering is a horrible place to be. But lessons learned there can be powerful and memorable. And it was there that Paul and Edrie experienced unexpected intimacy with a loving God who is no stranger to suffering. They feel personally challenged to use their experience and insights to help fellow sufferers too.