“This stirring memoir proves what readers of Nicholas’s debut novel, Freshwater Road, already know: that Nicholas, a pioneer Black actress, is also a writer of deep talent and understated eloquence. This is not your typical Hollywood tell-all, full of ‘I did this, and I did that,’ complete with cheap shots and horrible reveals about the rich and famous with whom she worked. Rather, it’s a long thoughtful moment, in which an artist peers into the looking glass and reflects on her life in a manner that allows us to see every corner of every room she’s ever been in—and every corner of every room we’ve ever been in. Because her story is ours. Nicholas is a distinct American voice. Her inspiring story, written with deep humility and refreshing honesty, is further proof that women will one day save this country. And I’m a witness.” —James McBride, National Book Award winner

A poignant, revelatory memoir from acclaimed novelist and actor Denise Nicholas that offers an episodic exploration of her multifaceted life, delving intimately into themes of artistic self-invention, race, and grief. 

Long before writing her acclaimed novel Freshwater Road, or her career as a path-breaking TV and film star, Denise Nicholas was a middle-class Black girl growing up in 1950s Detroit, struggling to decipher her family’s profound secrets. She loved Detroit’s vibrant culture despite the harsh realities of its racial segregation, which deeply influenced her perspective on identity. In her early twenties, she dropped out of the University of Michigan to tour the Deep South with the Free Southern Theater at the height of the Civil Rights Movement, a path that ultimately ignited her lifelong commitment to social justice and activism. A few short years later she would launch from stage work to meteoric national fame as a series lead on the groundbreaking ABC-TV show Room 222, a role that earned her three consecutive Golden Globe nominations.

With eloquence, vulnerability, and resolve, Nicholas mines her six-decade journey through TV and film stardom, the complexities of her three marriages, and her reconstituting her creative life to become a celebrated novelist, reflecting on the personal, professional, and societal pressures that buffeted her throughout. Constructed of episodic reflections from both personal and professional high points and low points of her life, Nicholas navigates the intersections of love and identity, exploring how her experiences in Hollywood shaped her understanding of success, intimacy, and commitment. Her narrative is rich with anecdotes from her career in Hollywood, as an actor and, later, a successful screenwriter for television and eventually a novelist, providing a backdrop to the struggles and achievements that marked her path. She outspokenly discusses the challenges she faced as a trailblazing actress of color, shedding light on the systemic barriers and biases within the entertainment industry. 

But at the deepest level, this memoir is a heartfelt exploration of grief, as Nicholas recounts the profound losses—including the unsolved, targeted slaying of her sister, the telling of which occupies the center of her story—that have shaped her.  Her reflections on mourning and resilience paint a vivid, moving portrait of how to journey through healing to new dimensions of self-discovery. Through her powerful, stylish, and evocative storytelling, Nicholas not only chronicles her own remarkable life but also provides a resonant narrative of what it means to live, work, and succeed as a Black woman in America over the past half-century.